Every Sunday evening, I have a three-hour Spanish lesson on Zoom.
At the end of every lesson, I usually feel very pleased with myself. That feeling lasts (approximately) until Monday morning, when I actually speak to someone in Spanish and wonder why they’re screwing up their face in a pained expression.
It’s not that I can’t speak Spanish–I can chatter away quite happily most of the time–but, sometimes, I completely forget almost everything I know when I’m face to face with a real person.
I know, it’s ridiculous.
I recently told a neighbour that– actually, before I tell you what I told her, I should mention (in case you don’t already know) that the Spanish words for hair, onion, horse, and mackerel are cabello, cebolla, caballo, and caballa, respectively. Kind of similar when you see them written down, but totally not.
Anyhoo, last weekend, when I was using up the excess onions in the bottom of my fridge before they started growing fur, I told my Spanish neighbour (from a safe distance and through my mask) that I’d bring her a jar of my horse chutney when it was ready. She laughed till she cried and told me not to bother. True story.
It’s not even as though cebolla and caballo are pronounced similarly, it’s just that the four words I’ve listed above always trip me up unless I stop to think what I’m saying. 🙄
For anyone interested, Cebolla is pronounced seh-boya and caballo, ka-buy-oh (regional accents may vary, but that’s how they’re pronounced where I live).
So much to learn but, in the meantime, here’s a recipe for you. And, I promise, no horses were harmed in the making of this chutney.
Onion Chutney
Ingredients
- 3 tablespoons of oil. I use sunflower oil.
- 4 onions, diced. You can use red, white, or brown.
- 3 cloves of garlic, grated. You can use less if you want.
- 2 tablespoons of brown sugar. You can use white if that’s what you have.
- A generous squeeze/tablespoon of maple syrup, if you have it. This is optional, but it gives a fantastic flavour.
- Salt and pepper to taste
- A quarter of a cup of balsamic vinegar. You can use regular vinegar if you’re really pushed but, if you do, up the sugar by a couple of tablespoons. Balsamic is best, because you want the sweetness it gives.
Method
- Heat the oil in a medium sized saucepan and gently cook the onions on a lowish heat until they become soft and translucent. This should take around 20 minutes, but keep an eye on them. You don’t want them to go brown or burn.
- Add the garlic, sugar, salt and pepper, and cook for a further 5 – 10 minutes, still on a gentle heat.
- Add the vinegar (and the maple syrup if you’re using it) and slowly bring the mixture to a boil, stirring often until the vinegar evaporates and the ingredients have turned to a chutney-like consistency.
- Take the pan off the heat and leave the chutney to cool.
- Serve with cheese, cold meat, grilled meat and fish, or any way you like!